clarz:

canon or otherwise, derek’s a slow-blossoming flower. it takes him a long time to come into his own, throw a furtive glance at his locked office door, and type those four illicit letters: p o r n

but most of what he finds – what isn’t downright scary anyway – just sort of makes him sad?? there’s no connection, no passion. of you’re going to take two dicks up the ass at once at least look like you’re enjoying it

The Search probably makes him surlier than usual, less up for dealing with stiles’ needling. So when stiles asks for the HUNDREDTH TIME TODAY “why so grumpy?” derek blurts out the truth: “all my porn is terrible. I haven’t gotten off in weeks”

So Anon, I agree with you ABSOLUTELY up to a point: Like yes, I think that most pornography would probably make Derek Hale uncomfortable, like it seems so orchestrated and performative and most of it just doesn’t really… do anything for him? And I also agree that Stiles Stilinski is almost DEFINITELY a connoisseur of pornography of all types. It’s almost debatable as to whether he even enjoys it or not (I mean, he does spend an inordinate amount of time masturbating, but that might just be his overactive imagination and libido getting into some kind of weird feedback loop), because he treats it like another JOB. You’ve never met someone more schooled in niche fetishes and pornography trends and the career trajectories of every major porn star of the last 20 years and, weirdly, gender and sex politics and how they’re reflected in pornography. 

But ANYWAY, my point is: A+, absolutely Derek is borderline-repulsed by most porn and Stiles should basically get a second job in which is a personal shopper, but for pornography. All excellent. HOWEVER, you LOSE me at Derek Hale saying he hasn’t gotten off for WEEKS because his porn is terrible. I just cannot get behind a version of Derek Hale who has NOT so thoroughly and expertly explored his own body that he needs no assistance in getting himself off. Like yes, Derek S. Hale is HOPELESSLY repressed in a great many aspects of his life, but I don’t think his relationship with his own body is one of them at all. I think Derek’s grown up comfortable in his own skin, comfortable with his body and with exploring what feels good (he definitely could have lost this comfort after the fire and Kate, but I think it was absolutely there in his early life, and I’m not feeling super angsty today, so I’m making this a version of Derek who is somehow miraculously recovered okay, sue me). It’s probably this fact of him becoming acquainted with pleasure before he really encountered porn in any meaningful way that makes it seem so dissonant to him.

So, FOR THIS REASON, I cannot see Derek being so frustrated with the lack of porn as to go ask Stiles about it. Like I think he’d probably try dipping his toe in, because why not, and, not finding anything there that interested him, would happily go back to his fleshlight and his dildo and the magic of his own hand without a care in the world, yknow?

BUT, I can see him being really perplexed by Stiles’ love of porn. At first he writes it off as Stiles just being gross, because initially he thinks Stiles’ entire personality is kind of gross, so of course he’d be into this crude garish unsubtle thing. It’s just one more part of Stiles that Derek doesn’t get. 

But the thing about Stiles is that Derek thinks he’s odd and silly and stupid and childish right up until he doesn’t, right up until Stiles bursts in his mouth like the most obvious thing. It’s like one day the whole pack is bitching at each other over the best way to handle this weird tree in town (yes, a weird tree–none of them can explain it, but something’s up with that fucking tree and they can’t just ignore it after the goddamn Nemeton), and Isaac and Malia are about to tear each other’s throats out again, and Derek finds that the only person whose opinion he really wants to hear, besides Scott’s, is Stiles’. And it hits him–he trusts Stiles; he values his ideas and he respects him and–most surprisingly of all–Stiles makes sense to him. It’s like all of the pieces fall into place and Stiles is suddenly this obvious creature, like a Magic Eye image where the dissonance blends, at the snap of a finger, into an intelligible whole.

There’s only one part that still doesn’t make sense, and that’s the porn. It starts to bother Derek over the next few weeks, because he could write it off as just another one of Stiles’ distractions, another way for him to make people uncomfortable so that they don’t pay too much attention to who he really is, but listening to Stiles talk about it, it seems like something that he actually really cares about. He genuinely seems fascinated, and Derek can’t let that go.

One night the two of them are sitting around in the loft, braiding what feels like another 5,000 goddamn protection charms (since the last set got burned to a crisp by that truly psychotic phoenix a few weeks ago), and Derek can’t stop sneaking weird glances at Stiles across the room. He doesn’t think Stiles notices, because he never glances up once, intently focused on the deft, intricate knots flying through his hands, until Stiles, still without glancing up, sighs, “So are you gonna ask me something or are you gonna keep staring at me like you wanna peel my skin and wear it? Because honestly, if it’s the latter, I’m gonna have to leave, dude. It’s creepy.”

Derek is so taken aback that he just blurts it out–“Why do you like porn so much?” There’s a silence while Stiles looks like he’s waiting for him to continue, so Derek adds, lamely, “I mean, none of it’s very good, is it?”

Stiles laughs, this kind of giggle through his nose that Derek’s only started to see from him in the past couple of months (yes, it’s stupidly charming).

“Oh my god, don’t tell me you’ve been watching mainstream stuff from like Vivid or Digital Playground or Bel Ami or something!”

Derek looks at his shoes.

Keep reading

pale-silver-comb:

Aww sweetheart. *snuggles you* Dammit, I am the worst for fic recs. But let me see what I have by way of long.

Hurt Me (to Heal Me) by SushiOwl

Stiles likes his job, he does. It’s just that his boss is an asshole. Stiles has been working for Hale and Associates for a while now, and he’s learned to take Mr Hale’s treatment of him with a grain of salt. They’re coexisting, more or less. Stiles puts thought of his boss out of his head when he heads to a BDSM club called The Menagerie for the first time. It’s a nice night, everything is going well, but everything changes when he sees his boss there.

There is a Brotherhood by minusoneday

So far, college has taught Stiles three things:

1) Eight am classes are cruel and unusual and should be avoided at all costs, even if it means having to enroll in something truly hideous instead, like Econ 101.

2) Dorm security is just as tight as Stiles’ orientation leader had promised it would be, and the dude guarding Scott’s dorm in particular does not respond well to bribes.

3) Mrs. McCall clearly had no clue what she was talking about when she’d insisted that Scott and Stiles needed to branch out and room with strangers, so it’s all her fault that Scott ended up with a total dick of a roommate and Stiles got stuck all the way across campus with some guy who has a girlfriend two towns over and is thus never around.

Or, the one where pledge brothers Stiles and Scott start a prank war with Derek Hale’s fraternity.

Special Collections by hannah_baker

Stiles Stilinski is a senior in college working on his thesis. Derek Hale is the grumpy (though inhumanely attractive) special collections librarian. All they needed was a common interest to spark a friendship that becomes more than either of the bargained for.

I Can Read You Like a Book (One That’s Written in Another Language) bykyrene

This story begins with a little boy asking an older boy to read him a book in the library, but that’s not where it ends.

Derek stared down at the little face lifted up to meet his gaze. This kid had Cora all beat in the so-cute-you-wanted-to-pinch-their-rosy-cheeks sweepstakes, and Derek discovered to his distress that he was helpless in the face of his heart-felt request.

“Okay,” he grunted, with an eye roll so that the boy knew this was putting him out. “Just this one book, though.”

Caged Humanity by Ember

The other factors sounded like complete bullshit. Like about Companions having certain dispositions for submission, and a personality built around wanting to please. Fuck that, Stiles was a strong independent man who didn’t need no wolf. Submitting was straight up taught in classes. Don’t talk back, try to reason not argue, never run away when your Mate was in heat. Mate? More like owner. There was a reason Companions were called pets. God Stiles hated it all, the hypocrisy. It was an honor? More like a life sentence.

An AU where werewolves are given humans as pets called Companions, and a very begrudging Stiles is taken in by Derek Hale, much to both their displeasure. And then pleasure. Very, very sexual pleasure.

Be the Life of the Party by Mimiminaj

His father’s face suddenly turned serious again.

“He is twenty four though, son. I don’t care if his smile shits rainbows and his laugh births puppies. You are his employee. It would be bad to cross those lines during your first job. Or ever.”

Stiles’ face hit the table.

“I hate my life,” he moaned.

Scott laughed cheerfully. “Don’t worry sheriff! It sounds to me like the entire cinema staff feels the same. Stiles doesn’t stand a chance with Derek!”

“Scratch that,” Stiles mumbled into the wood. “I hate you two more.”

Or – Stiles starts working at the movie theater. His boss is Derek.

I Feel We’re Close Enough by samann98

Derek’s two friends share a look and even Boyd can’t muster up the strength to deal with his pathetic attempt at denial. “Come on now, Derek, seriously? We know about you and Stiles.”

“Yeah, we know you two are fuck buddies,” Erica adds with a smirk, and Derek buries his head in his hands.

“That’s not exactly the terminology I would use,” he murmurs, his whole face burning with embarrassment.

“How else would you describe having sex with your best friend who has no clue you’re in love with him?” Boyd asks, actually sounding curious about his answer.

Derek lifts his head, opens his mouth to reply, but only ends up making a few ridiculous noises that can’t pass for actual words. When Derek finally just throws his hands up in defeat, admitting, “Okay, fine, that’s exactly how you’d describe it,” Erica and Boyd shake their heads at him.

Or the one in which Derek and Stiles are childhood friends, their freshman year of high school Derek makes the craziest suggestion ever, and four years later Stiles decides to take him up on it.

Talk Geeky to Me by stilesanderek (minxxx)

Derek and Stiles are the most typical combo of nerd plus geek two teenage boys could be; and as stereotypical as they could ever get, they’re each other’s only friend. That usually doesn’t bother Stiles much, Derek is the best best friend he could ever hope to have, but sometimes when he thinks about his fate of possibly not having his first kiss until college, he starts wishing he had a few more friends–or at least more people who were a bit more interested in him other than when they need to copy his notes.

In a fit of curiosity about how kissing feels like, Stiles proposes Derek that they each be the other’s first kiss–strictly platonic, of course. But afterwards, Stiles can’t stop noticing how hot Derek is, can’t stop thinking about kissing and touching him.

OR

The five times Derek and Stiles “fake” kiss and one time they take things further.

Love Comes in Spurts by talktowater

Stiles has always had sort of a hero worship thing going on with Scott’s step-brother Derek so moving into a house with him freshman year was basically fulfilling a childhood fantasy. Discovering how Derek was putting himself through college, well that was a whole other fantasy that Stiles didn’t even know he had.

I Might Be A Fool by prettylittlementirosa

The thing about Stiles, though, is that for him, turned on and angry are not mutually exclusive feelings. He may be painfully hard but that doesn’t mean he’s not also ready to strangle Derek for having the audacity to act like this is something that’s happening to him, not something that is almost entirely his fault. So when Derek let’s out what must be his hundredth long-suffering sigh, Stiles snaps.

(or the one that was supposed to be a GRΣΣK AU but is mostly just a study in the gratuitous and inconsistent use of punctuation)

I’m A Believer by LittleLynn

Stiles’ one night stand turns out to be a lot more than he bargained for. Not that he minds, like, at all.