ryvetted4:

clarz:

ryvetted4:

clarz:

clarz:

Can you BELIEVE that 19 year old dylan Obrien GRACED US with his sparkly wet eyes long eyelashes cocksucking open mouth buzzcut TWINK SELF with BONUS life ruining shoulder to hip ratio and BITEABLE deltoids ALL THOSE YEARS AGO

#thank you for the filthy facts clara #he was such a 🍯<—honeypot  ( @ryvetted4 ) 

HONEYPOT is fuckin’ RIGHT like has anyone written a fic where fuckin’ stiles is basically a BOND GIRL who runs around seducing and then BLACKMAILING RICH AND DESPICABLE MEN?????

YES like dress him up as fuckin’ HONEY RYDER WEARING THE BIKINI KNIFE BELT STABBING ALL THE VILLIAN MEN then BOND DEREK CHILLIN AT THE MARTINI BAR HAPPENS AND HONEY LOSES HIS MIND AND FALLS IN LOVE

he’d probably be such a LOW KEY honeypot most of the time like all he has to do is wander around in board shorts and flip flops looking like a lost tourist and BATTING HIS EYELASHES at rich men and GIGGLING about how he’s HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK OH NO but like he’s got a real big fish on the line and he’s gotta SHOW OFF THE GOODS so every once in a while he puts on his TINY BOOTY SHORTS SWIMSUIT with the KNIFE BELT and EMERGES FROM THE OCEAN WITH SALTWATER STICKING HIS EYELASHES TOGETHER AND HIS MOUTH ALL OPEN, LICKING THE SALT FROM BENEATH HIS FINGERNAILS ALL CASUAL LIKE and then he prob almost FALLS FLAT ON HIS FACE RIGHT THERE IN THE SAND because WHO THE FUCK IS THAT WITH THE STUBBLE AND THE EYES AND THE BICEPS SITTING AT THE BAR NEXT TO HIS TARGET AND WHY DOES HE WANNA CLIMB HIM LIKE A TREE

honestly he’d prob be super PISSED OFF TOO because like the guy he’s trying to reel in didn’t even SEE HIM because derek was DISTRACTING HIM so stiles WASTED A PERFECTLY GOOD BEACH BOOTY WAGGING OCEAN EMERGENCE FOR NOTHING and of course he’s sullen and bratty and spends the next 2 days trying to thwart derek purely out of spite (and barely repressed sexual desire ofc) and he’s tiles and he’s basically a genius so of course he SUCCEEDS at making derek’s life VERY HARD until derek is finally like GOD FINE WHY DON’T WE JUST WORK TOGETHER JESUS CHRIST and then at some point they bone the end (via clarz)

DEFINITELYYY Stiles would SO be gettin laid billionaire style RIGHT THERE ON DEREKS BIG YACHT sprawled out on all the cushions under the night sky UNDER DEREK with big explosions in the background as the credits roll