Tyler Hoechlin attends the New Era Pool House at MLB All-Star Week at Palomar Hotel on July 11, 2016 in San Diego, California.
OH MY GOD I CANNOT EVEN – HOW SHOULD I DEAL WITH THIS??? THE BRO GLASSES? THE CAP? THE SLIGHTLY SEE THROUGH SHIRT (i can almost see your nip nops sir ALMOST)??’ THE FLIP FLOP (wow dude his feet aren’t gross? WHY? EVEN HIS FEET ARE CUTE TF) AND AND AND THE HAIR ARMS AND uGh. LET ME FUCKING LIVE!
Okay so what is this? Huh? WHY IS HE WEARING A SEE THROUGH TSHIRT? WHY AM I ABLE TO SEE THROUGH HIS SHIRT? I CAN SEE HIS CHEST HAIR THIS IS AN ISSUE WHAT DO I DO?!
And @bistiles was spot on – HOW ARE EVEN HIS FEET CUTE?!?!
ELISA – help meeee! How are we supposed to handle this?
for @shealwaysreads for always being wonderful and just bc I love you a lot
for @hoechlbutt and @okamiaki my babies that make my every day, since the moment i met them, brighter and are not having it good these days *wraps you both in fluffy blankets and octopus hugs you* I love you so much I wanna adopt a mission of monkeys with you and a zoo. I want all the animals with you two. *smooches*
Stiles had been pacing back and forth for a while now.
Derek was used to it.
He knew sometimes that was just how Stiles thought. He
needed the constant and repetitive movement to organise whatever was going
through his head, he had explained it to him, in whispers one night, when
neither of them had been sleepy enough to fall asleep right away.
But there was something not right in this kind of pacing.
Stiles movements were too jittery, and Derek noticed with a frown that a light
tremor touched his right hand whenever he brought it up to run his finger
trough his hair in a frustrated gesture.
“Stiles,” Derek called when Stiles had huffed at the empty
air, yet again.
His boyfriend turned to him, his eyes a bit too wide and sad
–it made Derek’s chest ache, seeing the sadness and uneasiness in them.
“What’s wrong?” He closed his book and stood up, opening his
arms in an inviting gesture.
Stiles all but threw himself in his arms, and buried his
face in the crook of Derek’ neck. “I dunno.”
Derek wrapped his arms tight around him and rubbed his back.
“I just-” Stiles huffed again, pulling back from the embrace
to grip the fabric of his own shirt above his heart. “It hurts here.” Stiles
said miserably, “my heart fucking hurts and I don’t know why.”
Derek put his hand above Stiles’, the one on his heart, and
squeezed. “What do you want me to do?”
Stiles made a pained sound and Derek felt the same ache in
his chest when Stiles shook his head and said, “I don’t’ know Derek, I just- I don’t
know.” In a broken voice. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Derek pulled him back in his arms. He turned his face to
kiss every mole and freckle on Stiles’ face for only pause once he had gently
pecked his lips.
He sat Stiles down on the couch and wrapped the white fluffy
blanket that the kept on the back of the couch around his shoulder and turned
on the TV to put Star Wars on, knowing he’d chosen well when Stiles made a
surprised pleased sound.
“We didn’t spend much time together like this in a while,
did we?” Derek asked, settling behind Stiles on the couch, nuzzling his neck.
Stiles shook his head, turning away from the TV to face him.
He put a hand on Derek’s chest, caressing the hair poking out from his shirt
and didn’t say anything, just settled his forehead against Derek’s collarbone
and breathed for a while.
Derek didn’t know what else to do other than to let him do
whatever he needed, so he buried his face in Stiles’ hair and closed his eyes.
*~*
He woke up to light kisses being pressed on his cheeks and
nose and forehead, tiny butterfly kisses that made his lips stretch in a wide
smile and wrap his arms around the source, pulling him flush against him.
“I can’t kiss you if you hold me this tight,” Stiles grumbled.
Derek’s grin widened and he opened his eyes, peering down at
his boyfriend with a glint in his eyes. “I know.”
Stiles had just barely started to frown, before he was being
flipped, so that Derek was on top. “Now, I
get to kiss you.” He said with a
dopey smile that made Stiles snort.
“Sap.”
Derek hummed and kept promise on his statement, kissing and
nuzzling every inch of Stiles’ face. “I love you,” he whispered in his ear, his
eyes soft when he looked down at him.
Stiles’ eyes softened, his fingers scratching lightly on the
back of Derek’s neck. “I love you too.”
When Derek smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners, Stiles
felt the weight on his chest lift a little.
This was all he needed. No matter how weird and shitty he
felt, knowing and Derek showing him that he loved him, would always be what
mattered to him most.
ELISA you’re a golden human full of goodness, I’m so happy to have met you and I LOVE THAT YOU’RE WRITING AGAIN BECAUSE YOU’RE SO GOOD! ❤️ THANK YOU FOR THIS!
“What do you mean leaving?” Stiles whipped his head around with a look of disbelief.
“I’m not having you stay a minute longer in this fucking town.” Derek growled. “We. Are. Leaving.”
“Derek,” Stiles said quietly, a small smile tugging at his lips. “We can’t just leave, my dad is here.” he reasoned, taking a step closer to his sourwolf. “Besides, you’d want to come back to help anyway, so.”
Derek shook his head and within moments was in front of Stiles, merely inches apart, until he leaned in and buried his face in Stiles’ neck and wrapped his arms around him, drawing him flush against him. “I want to keep you safe most of all. We can take your dad too, we’ll drive away from all of this and build a new home somewhere nice.”
Stiles sighed. it would be so easy, so fucking easy to entertain that fantasy. He wanted to get the fuck out of dear old Beacon Hills too, but his dad would never leave it, no matter what, it would always be their home. Stiles’ home.
He breathed in Derek’s scent, a mix of earth and leather that always made him feel safe and like nothing would go wrong if they stayed close to each other, and sighed, clasping his hands on Derek’s back, not ready to let him go. “I want to.” Stiles whispered. “But this was my mom’s home too, and I don’t think dad can let go of that.” He wanted to say yes, let’s go. But he couldn’t. He felt a sob rise up from deep within his chest and cried, “I’m sorry Derek, I’m so sorry.”
“I want to, but I can’t.” Another sob rose and his chest ached from it. “I can’t leave them.”
Derek didn’t say anything, just made shushing sounds and rubbed his back. When he had calmed down enough, his throat and chest aching, Derek drew back. He kissed Stiles’ forehead and whispered, “I understand.”
It elicited another broken sob, and he made to grip Derek’s shirt into his fists, but Derek drew back and suddenly everything turned black.
–
Stiles woke up with a start, a scream trapped in his throat, his heart beating too loud on his ears, sweat running down his spine, his face wet with tears, and the same ache in his chest.
He looked around his room, his heart sinking as realisation dawned onto him.
“It was just a dream.”
—
[Yo this could easily become part one of that fic that people is asking about of Stiles going to Der when everyone forgets him and Derek obviously remembering him. @sterektrashbag *winks*]
Oh MAN LEMME JUST GUSH OVER THE AMAZING people that I met through the Sterek fandom:
@runedsterek Bella was my first Sterek friend *hugs* oh Bells I love you so much.
@shealwaysreads Isobel is the first person that reached out to me when I got back into tumblr, bc of that Zombie/kid!fic au that guess who’s gonna still have to finish writing haha, anyway she’s the sweetest and she’s caring and a great someone to scream/cry over Tyler Hoechlin with u.u
@pale-silver-comb Emma, I love Emma so damn much, she’s such a precious human/wannabe mermaid, and deserves all the good things tbh.
@crossroadswrite if you wanna die in cuteness Rita’s the one to go to, honestly you will die in fluff.
@haleandlightwood Jessie is an Amazing writer and her gifs edits are to die for, I friggin love this girl, I just *snuggles you*
@dylanlovesthemets Surina is so sweet and such an amazing human, shes the best if you wanna scream about Dylan and baseball.
@sterektrashbag Vanessa is amazing, her angsty sterek edits will be the death of me but I love them all and she’s such a sweet human and such Sterek trash that’s just Amazing.
@poetry-protest-pornography I love Rachael so much, she’s seriously so incredibly sweet and I love her writing to its all bitty pieces, so good.
And then last but absolutely not least @benaya-trash OLGA IS AMAZING. Oh man, her art is fucking awesome, and she’s adorable and hilarious and I just love her so FRIGGIN much and she’s just the friend that anyone needs, I love this girl, woah olgaaaa I love you.
OKAY. I HAVE LOADS OF HEADCANONS FOR THESE TWO OKAY.
but yesterday I was in a sour mood and it made me think of Stiles being in a bad mood [cuz Stiles is me and I am Stiles srsly]
And I got thinking on how he’d come home all pissed off bc someone was a dick or literally anything that could’ve gone wrong did go wrong, or was generally stressed for a case that wouldn’t just make sense to him, now that Deputy!Stiles could totally be a thing, I thought of that a lot.
And of course at home he’d have Derek waiting for him, And maybe it’s just at the start of their relationship and Derek would just try not to respond, wait until the storm passed in a way, and maybe sometimes it worked, but lately it only seemed to make Stiles angrier.
Because Stiles knew that he was being a complete dick, he knows he becomes this mean person when he’s mad and depressed, and he hates it, and most of all hates the fact that Derek is the one that he takes it out on. And he hates even more that Derek lets him. Hates himself even more thinking that he’s no better than Kate and Jennifer as he uses him like a punching bag and Derek just takes it, because maybe he’s used to it. Stiles hates it, hates himself so much for that and he’s so angry at Derek too.
And one day he snaps, screaming at Derek to not just stand there and take it like he deserves it, HE DOESN’T “FIGHT BACK YOU ASSHOLE, SCREAM AT ME. TELL ME I’M A DICK AND I DON’T DESERVE YOU”
And Derek finally yells at him back “YES YOU’RE A DICK AND I HATE IT WHEN YOU GET LIKE THIS!”
And Stiles is so so so relieved, because that’s exactly what he wanted, he wanted Derek to challenge him like he did in everything else, to not tiptoe around him like he wasn’t sure he was allowed to be there when Stiles got like this, because no matter what, no matter in what awful mood he was he always loved Derek, nothing could ever change that. And he smiles after Derek yelled at him, nods “Yes, I am and I hate it too, and you don’t have to let me be like this to you, Derek. You don’t have to take it, you’re not my punching bag. You’re my partner.”
And while he says that Derek is looking at him wide-eyed like Stiles is telling him some mind blowing thing, and he wants to cry bc it really isn’t’ but with Derek’s history with relationships it is, and he hates that he was like this to him.
And that night there’s still some tension but in the end Derek is the one to reach out and touch Stiles’ shoulder while they’re lying in bed (bc Stiles feels like a dick and isn’t sure if after how he behaved Derek was okay with Stiles touching him) and Stiles turns, and he really feels like breaking down but he doesn’t because he needs to have a serious conversation with Derek, about their relationship, about how to make it work in a way that is not screwed up, “I love you, I love you so much Der, and I know I’m an asshole and you don’t have to take all of that shit from me just because you love me, it just makes me feel worse.”
Derek frowns but nods.
And after that whenever Stiles is in a sour mood and starts making mean comments, Derek snaps right back. with no effort at all.
And Stiles always feels instantly better.
Because he knows Derek and him are a really good duo, their past lives and experiences just made their relationship a little more complicated than it would be if they met in different circumstances, maybe in a life without so much pain.
But it’s okay in this life too, as longs as they are willing to work on it, as long as they call out on each other, and love each other, he knows they’ll be fine.
YOU CAN’T JUST THROW SHIT LIKE THAT AT PEOPLE THO, MY BRAIN KIND OF FRIED CHARLIE IT DISCONNECTED FOR A SECOND. OMFG.
See, because I keep thinking of a sweaty Derek singing and dancing during his BAND’s concert CUZ IT’S TOTALLY A BAND. DEREK’S PART OF A BAND.
And I don’t care about the other members and neither should you, the onLY ONE THAT SHOULD BE OF YOUR CONCERN IS THE DRUMMER.
Cuz guess who’s, the hyperactive, also ALWAYS sweaty, with his hair sticking on his forehead, and his white tee always drenched in sweat so that it becomes see-through anD YOU CAN SEE HIS MANY TATOOS, DRUMMER.
GUESS WHO THAT IS CHARLIE.
*dies from the mental picture*
It Stiles.
And you know how much sexual tension they have in canon? IMAGINE THAT X100 in this AU.
DEREK’S LUST LEVEL FOR STILES IS REDICULOUS but can you blame him? Stiles looks delicious after a concert, all sweaty an chugging down water as if he’s the one that had been singing for three hours straight.
BUT ANYWAY I’M DIGRESSING cuz that’s not the point… Singer!Derek is the point.
And we all know that he has a throaty hot as fuck voice and so imagine all the fans that he has, so many fans, it’s ridiculous, and he knows his looks and his band member ones helps too, but he doesn’t care, he loves their fans, and most of all he loves music and singing and it’s everything he’d wanted to do since he was given an acoustic guitar as a present from his uncle the day of his 8th birthday. AND NOW HE’S DOING IT AS A JOB.
and imagine him all sweaty [yes I want you to imprint it in your brain cuz that’s all I can think, I’m dying] anD SMILEY AS HE SINGS CUZ WHEN HE’S ON STAGE HE’S ALWAYS HAPPY. THAT’S WHERE HE BELONGS. THAT’S WHAT HE WAS MEANT TO DO AND HE LOVES IT.
oKAY now we can go back to the Sterek point, cuz you know me and I have to put it somewhere somehow and it always WORKS CUZ THEY’RE SOULMATES.
And as I was saying, Derek’s lust level for Stiles is just over the top. since the moment he first landed his eyes on him.
There was this drummer guy before, a total asshole and they had to search for another because everyone was just done with this dude, so they made auditions and when even the last of their hope was dying BAM HERE COMES THE FUCKING SUN THAT IS STILES STILINSKI no seriously that song kept playing in Derek’s head as Stiles rambled on who he was and shit, and Derek was kinda already gone, already deciding that if he wasn’t their future drummer he was totally going to ask him out for coffee or something. BUT THEN HE PLAYED AND DEREK AND everyone else in the band was left staring cuz DAMN WAS HE GOOD.
And so obviously they take him in and Derek gets to know him and he really ends up falling in love with the guy and he just wants to kiss and trace all those moles and TATOOS OMG .
BUT AT THE END OF EACH CONCERT HE’S JUST SUPER HYPER AND ALL HE CAN THINK ABOUT IS LICKING EVERY SALTY INCH OF sTILES BODY AND FUCK HIM ON THE NEXT AVAILABLE SURFACE. cuz imagine, SWEATY, TATOOED STILES, [Charlie you killed me i’m dead]
but he holds off, cuz they’re friends now and he’s also part of the band, and if something happens but then goes wrong, they would lose their drummer and its just really complicated in Derek’s mind, You know he’s totally the over thinker sometimes, especially with things like this so…
SO it’s up to Stiles to take the matter in hands and one night, after a particularly good gig, he just goes for it. STILL SWEATY AND HOT AND HE JUST ASSAULTS HIS LIPS AND JUST TOUCHES EVERYWHERE AND DEREK CAN ONLY FOLLOW BITING DOWN HIS LIPS CUZ GODN KNOWS HOW MUCH HE DREAMT, JERKED OFF THINKING ABOUT IT.
AND turns out, Der was an idiot (DUH) for being afraid, cuz Stiles is totally in love with him too, AND THEY BECOME THIS SINGER DRUMMER BADASS MUSIC COUPLE AND THEY HAVE HOT STEAMY SEX AT THE END OF EVERY AND EACH CONCERT.
And they lived happily ever after, in music, moans and stupid love songs they keep singing for each other, (Derek with his wonderful voice, Stiles completely off tune cuz while he’s an amazing drummer he can’t sing for shits.)
I know I messaged you already but I want to shout this publicly too – YOU ARE SO LOVELY AND THIS IS SO SWEET OF YOU!!! Honestly you’re one of the first few people that I’ve met since becoming active on tumblr and I’m so happy to have met you too!! 😊💜💜💜
shealwaysreads 