The first time Leonard sees an email from one Jim Kirk, his eyes nearly pop out of his skull from the horrible—repeat, god awful—use of colors that are not in the Enterprise Style Guide (and in fact, shouldn’t be used AT ALL) and Comic Sans.
Comic Sans. In a professional email. With Papyrus. In. The. Signature.
Good god, is this real life?
Leonard, being ever meticulous, doesn’t even respond to this clown’s question because he’s so distracted by the horrible formatting that he might have an aneurysm! Instead, he attaches a PDF of the company branding and its rules which he and Spock developed and sends it off with a terse, “Minimalism. Try it some time.”
He expects an equally terse, perhaps butt hurt response because people in this company can be pompous douchebags. Leonard lives to shut those folks down; it’s one of his favorite things in the world to tell them how wrong—yes, you’re fucking WRONG—they are.
However, Jim Kirk’s reply kind of throws him for a loop. “Are you one of those designers who enjoy wearing flannel under a sweater in the summer and has a quadrilateral tattoo on their forearm?”
First of all, the tattoo on the inside of his bicep is not a quadrilateral! It’s a geometric peach because he’s from Georgia. Secondly, he absolutely, under no uncertain terms hates flannel.
“I am one of those designers who enjoy following the design guidelines as dictated by the style guide that they developed because it’s the bones of which good design is based on,” he types back before hitting send with his mouse.
Jim’s response comes seconds later. “Live a little,” he says with a winky face. “Bones,” he adds seconds later.
And continues to do so in every single interaction they have on email or through the internal messaging system. Never Leonard, Leo, Len; always Bones.
He asks Gaila about this kid whose emails he does not look forward to receiving because Leonard has work to do, dammit! They’re in line at the deli around the corner from the office, away from office gossip and Spock who has sonar hearing.
“He’s one of the renders under Chris,” she tells him. “I think he joined a few months ago.“
Leonard blinks, confused. “He did?”
“Yeah. Chris introduced him during the staff meeting.”
He vaguely remembers an announcement sent around to the office about a new hire with a candid shot of an unfairly good looking man whose name escapes Leonard’s memory. All he remembers is the guy’s blue eyes and easy grin and absolutely nothing about his identity.
“Darlin’, you know I never go to staff meetings.”
Gaila turns around, her red curls bouncing. “And there’s the rub,” she teases. “If you had gone, you would know who he is and you wouldn’t have to ask me about your little email crush.”
He chokes on his own saliva. “Who told you!”
“Nyota,” Gaila says with a shrug. She looks more interested in today’s special than Leonard’s love life or lack thereof. “Spock mentioned it to her and she is the head of IT.”
“Those are private emails!” In which he and Jim have been flirting and bantering back and forth for weeks. Leonard corrects his terrible grammar and Jim brushes it off with his carefree wit and use of that awful nickname.
“They are also fair game since you two are using the company server,” Gaila reminds him. She turns to him. “Why don’t you just ask him out, get his number, and sext him?”
Leonard shakes his head. “I do not sext!”
“Maybe you should?”
Maybe he should, but he doesn’t.
Leonard doesn’t sext. Leonard is an adult who ends up giving Jim Kirk his number and asking him out for coffee that weekend. An adult who nearly shits himself with glee when Jim agrees to it when he calls Leonard back later that day.
They never make it to coffee because Jim invites him over that night and when Leonard is unbuttoning Jim’s shirt, he thinks that they don’t need coffee. Coffee is bad for them. Coffee has acids and too much sugar and doesn’t make him weak in the knees like when Jim kisses him.
Because damn. DAMN.
When they get married a year later, it’s only fitting that their save-the-date uses an email theme with terrible fonts and colors.
I can’t get over the horrifying fact that Jim used the font, “Comic Sans.” 😀 But he got it right with Papyrus. 😀
Tag: kirk/bones
bones! buckle up!
McKirk AU where Jim is deaf and Bones is the doctor who give him implants and the first thing Jim hears in his life is Bones’ voice and he falls in love with it
- Jim hasn’t been deaf all his life. He knows what things are supposed to sound like. Or, he knew, anyway. But his reckless behaviour as a kid didn’t pay off in his teens when being chased by one of those android cops resulted into an accident that led to permanent damage in his ears, rendering him deaf. Sure, at first, that got him really down. Then, it got him experimenting on different sound pitches and audio levels, but more than registering vibrations, no sound is coming through.
- He can still speak okay-ish, and he learns sign language pretty fast. And he has communicators who directly translate what people around him are saying into text, so a lot of people don’t even immediately realize that he’s deaf. Jim’s quite resourceful, after all.
- But he misses hearing. He misses his classic rock music, and he’s ever so curious about the sound these men, women, and otherwise unspecified people make when he sleeps with them. He wants to hear people laugh at his jokes. And though he’s really grateful he’s deaf and not blind – it’s still something he wishes he had.
- He’s still one of the top performers at Starfleet Academy, with Leonard at his side, who’s able to speak sign language in both Earth and teaches Jim to speak Vulcan, too, just so that they can offend Spock right in front of him. Despite being a top performer, though, his lack of hearing makes it impossible for him to ever become captain of his own Starship, simply because hearing is apparently one of the key requirements to being a good captain.
- I’m going to be a captain, Jim signs to Bones when they’re together in Bones’ cabin. Bones is already a CMO, and Jim doubts he’ll ever get further than being a cadet. Not like this, not while he doesn’t hear anything, no warning signals, no people talking to him. But despite all that, he’s determined to be the first. Okay, Bones signs. You don’t believe me, Jim says, and Bones shrugs. I don’t say that. I’m just saying okay, he replies, I’d like to see that happen. Jim frowns, leaning back in his seat and grabbing the bottle of bourbon from Bones’ hands to take a swig from it. I’m gonna be a captain, Jim repeats when he sets the bottle on his lap, and Bones rolls his eyes. I have no doubt. You’re so persistent it’s annoying, he replies, and Jim laughs.
- And he actually does become a captain. Jim can’t hear, but he still senses things better than most. Vibrations, natural and man-made, and he saves the Enterprise by warning Captain Pike about it. Even goes as far as beaming aboard the enemy ship with just a small crew – and with Scotty’s help, disables their engines. It helps that they made very little sound communicating strategies – merely a series of Jim calmly signing to Scotty, and Scotty making big, fast paced gestures back at him. After successfully pulling that off, and Jim’s continuously showing leadership abilities, Pike pulls the right strings, and Jim’s that first deaf captain to have his own starship.
- It calls for a celebration, Bones and himself get incredibly drunk the night before takeoff. Jim sits his first day in the Captain’s chair incredibly uncomfortable because every movement of the ship, every vibration running through her, it all cranks up that dull headache in the back of his head. I’m never drinking again, Jim signs to Bones a day later, and Bones grins. You sure? Because I smuggled this bourbon aboard, Bones replies, and Jim sighs. Fine, give me that bottle. He takes it from Bones’ hands, but Bones puts it aside first. I also have something else, Bones explains. He gets up and rummages through his stuff, crouching down just in front of Jim when he finds just this little box. No much bigger than a jewelry box. You proposing, Bones? Jim asks with a grin. Not this time, Bones replies. He opens it, and there’s just two little chips in there. Before Jim even realizes that that is, Bones reaches out and places them just behind Jim’s ears. What are you- There is a high pitched noise in his ears that’s instantly giving him a headache again. Jim reaches out to remove those chips, but Bones grabs his hands instead. When the noise dulls out, he hears things. The quiet rumbling of the ship, the sound of the TV on in the background. “Can you hear me?” Bones asks, and it’s so loud and sudden that Jim flinches at the closeness of the noise to his ears. Yes, he signs, before frowning, and he nods. “Yes,” he says, slowly, and hearing his own voice sounds incredibly weird. “Bones,” Jim continues, “how can I-?” “We’ve been working on this for a while,” Bones says, sitting down next to Jim again. “It’s technically still in a testing phase, but it should work.”
- And it does work – it does a hell of a job. Jim hears everything, at first, because perhaps it’s cranked up a little too high. Jim hears Spock and Uhura quietly bickering when they’re at the other side of the rec room. He hears Bones drop his PADD before Jim even enters his office. He hears Chekov and a girl from engineering hook up through the wall of his cabin (and that’s something he’s never going to stop hearing ever again). So Bones turns those chips down a little, and then it’s perfect. He can hear Bones, even when they talk quietly and intimately on the couch in Jim’s room. Bones has a lovely voice, too. Soft, and sweet, and with this perfect southern accent that’s just incredible to listen to. Even when Jim’s like “tell me that time you and Joanna went to the zoo,” and Bones rolls his eyes and says: “pretty sure I told you that twice already.” But he tells it anyway.
- Because Jim is in love with Bones’ voice. With the way he laughs when Jim tells a joke. They still often communicate via sign language, because talking and listening is exhausting for someone who hasn’t had to process any sounds for years. But Jim loves Bones’ voice. Doesn’t love that Bones breathes so silently, though, except when he’s angry. Jim wakes up in the morning in the same bed as Bones after having passed out from drinking and talking all night, and it’s so quiet he’s afraid his hearing has left him again. Bones is just quietly asleep next to him. Jim knows he shouldn’t be sleeping over so much, because he’s already in love with Bones’ voice and his grumpy exterior, and this is only going to make it worse, but after talking until way past midnight, there is simply no way he’s going to walk back home. He shifts in closer, hearing the sheets ruffle as he moves, and he quietly rests his head against Bones’ chest. There it is – a slow and steady heart beating. Feeling the weight on his chest, Bones’ heart starts speeding up a little as he wakes up, and he shifts ever so lightly. Not enough for Jim to actually move, though. What are you doing? Bones signs, tired, sloppy movements with his hands close to Jim’s face. Jim smiles. Even Bones is still so very used to sign language around him. “I’m listening,” Jim replies, speaking. “To what?” Bones asks this time, and Jim slowly looks up. “Your heartbeat.” “You’re so fucking cheesy,” Bones says, and Jim laughs. When he looks up, Bones is so close. His sleepy smile, those sounds he makes when he yawns and stretches his arms and legs, hair a big mess.
- He sits up, just enough, to cup Bones’ cheeks and he leans in closer to be able to kiss those soft lips. Bones doesn’t move at first, but it’s only when Jim is about to lean away that his hands grab Jim’s shoulders to pull him in closer. Only when he pulls away, Bones throws Jim a sleepy smile. “What’d I do to deserve that?” He asks, and Jim shrugs lightly. “Everything.”
SKIN RED, RAW, AND PEELING FROM BURNS.
they r soft
shealwaysreads 