blamethewolf:

“Derek is enough.”

“Am I dreaming?”

“Just drunk.”

“Mh, nice drunk.”

Sterek AU: Stiles thinks he might have fallen asleep or had a bit too much to drink (it’s totally Scott’s fault because he didn’t come to watch over him) and now there is a naked Derek in front of him. But Derek was just on a run in his wolf form until the scent of StilesStilesStiles hit him.

commandtower-solring-go:

jemthecrystalgem:

6qubed:

6qubed:

silvermarmoset:

the new batch of love for john mulaney here on tumblr has got me thinking how critical costume design is once again. john mulaney is a good comedian, but so much of his power comes from how his humor plays off how he’s dressed. we don’t expect a man dressed like a 1960s news announcer, all clean scrubbed and tight-wound professional, to describe in minute detail the visit where a doctor shoved a hand up his ass. imagine any iconic john mulaney set but given in jeans and a t-shirt, and is it as funny? i don’t think so. his humor spreads like wildfire on this website because the image of a man in a buttoned-up shirt and a tie and slicked back hair with fairly narrow lapels on his three-piece suit is fucking hysterical when paired with “years later I’d be in college about to go down on some
rockin’ twink and i’d be like what would leonard bernstein do”

well I do recall a comedian telling about how he accidentally joined the russian mafia on a school trip in college, and this was made more believable by the fact that he was shirtless with a beer belly while telling this story

since someone asked

Frick thank you so much

THE MACHINE

Neckz N’Throats verse, BIG BAD ALPHA Derek model who is just the most precious marshmallow heart, fosters kittens for the local animal shelter so they can be adopted out to werewolves too (socialization being key), falls ass over tits for the shelter’s receptionist, fumbles for weeks before finally asking him out on a date that blooms into the most glorious relationship in no time, & Stiles 100% encourages Derek’s love of lacy panties & bottoming because who says alphas have to top all the time?

eeyore9990:

*slams fist on the table* YES. YESSSS!!

And Stiles is happy to top, just so he can get his hands all over that big ol’ sensitive knot. So he can wrap his fingers around the girth and squeeze and just watch Derek fall to pieces under him while Stiles slow bones the hell out of him, fucking him straight through the whole, mind shattering experience!

leupagus:

cc-videos:

basedgodtookmyusername:

Yesterday i lost my glasses. And decided to document my frustration until……… I really wish this was planned, but i gotta admit, I took a big L.

“[defeated tone] So… I have…. lost my glasses. And I’m afraid to leave my bed because I can’t see… and I fear I might step on my glasses. So I’m sitting here with my bee pillow pet… and I don’t know what to do.

I need to get up. I wanna get food. I gotta exfoliate and moisturize, cause my skin looking atrocious right now.

What if… [deep breath] What if I die here, y’all? Would anyone even miss me?Like, really?

I want Enrique Iglesias to come save me. Like, the ceiling opens up and like, he comes down from like, a heavenly cloud with my glasses, and he’s singing. [imitating Enrique Iglesias] ‘Would you dance? If I asked you to dance? I will be your hero baby!’ And I just take my glasses and I’m like ‘Thanks yo! Put a shirt on homie!’

But life, life don’t work… life… [prolonged silence]

[camera zooms in on glasses] 

[long silence; light chuckle] Enrique…”

This should win an Oscar