THE PERSON I HOOK UP WITH RECOGNIZED MY FIC AS MINE AS THEY READ IT BECAUSE THE SEX IN IT REMINDED THEM TOO MUCH OF THE SEX WE’VE HAD………. I WANT TO DIE……………….
I think Harry missed a great fucking opportunity to mess with Voldemort’s head. Like instead of looking through his mind, he should have put strange fucking shit in there.
Ron: What are you doing?
Harry: Projecting a shit ton of gay porn into Voldemort’s mind so he can’t see the Aurors coming for him.
adisusedshed said: Sterek in a hipster tea shop duh.
mad-madam-m said: I’m gonna throw another vote in for Stiles and Derek at the hipster tea shop. Just imagine Stiles with a violin. 😀 (Obviously in-tune.)
“I fucking hate open mic night,” Derek sighs, trying to focus on perfectly arranging a cheese plate while their regular Wednesday night entertainment charms the whole tea shop. Ugh, Stiles. With his ridiculous blue violin, and his messy hair, and his pushed-up sleeves, and his blatantly sexual song titles, and—
“That’s the hottest glissando I’ve ever heard, wow,” Erica enthuses.
“Jesus. Restock the sugar crystals. Hey.” Derek snaps his fingers in front of her face. “Erica.”
“Look at his hands, though.”
“I’ve seen them,” Derek says, sighing heavily.
“Yeah, I bet you have.”
Derek chugs an entire half-mug of Silver Needle to avoid looking her in the eye.
::
"So I know you’re busy,” Stiles says later, sliding up to the front counter where Derek is slicing lemons. “But, I thought I’d check in with you. See if you liked your song today.”
Stiles has his fingers curved around the edge of the counter, and they’re flexing and curling in a slow rhythm. Derek swallows. “My song?”
“Yeah, I mean, I was gonna wait for you to bring it up on your own? Like, back when I played Hey Pretty Eyebrows… but you’ve never noticed, so I think that approach might have been a little… low-key? For you. You’re very, uh, focused on your job…” Stiles trails off while Derek bends over to dig through the tea tins on the bottom shelf. “Um.”
"Notice what?” Derek straightens, and notices a lone cupcake that hasn’t managed to sell. “Here,” he says, thrusting it a little too aggressively at Stiles. “You like chocolate, right? We’re closing in ten minutes. So.”
Stiles takes it, and a weird, helpless look passes over his face. “You fucker. You’re so cute, god.”
Derek blinks. “I…”
“I wrote you sexy violin solos!” Stiles blurts, waving the cupcake around. “This is by far the least subtle way I’ve ever hit on somebody! Put me out of my misery, please, because if you don’t just turn me down outright in the next ten seconds I’m probably going to write you an entire symphony because —”
"I made you a tea blend,” Derek interrupts, flushing. “I named it Brown Eyes and I’ve been drinking it alone for weeks.”
"Oh my god,” Stiles breathes.
“It has way too much clove in it, though,” Derek admits, and Stiles puts the cupcake down, actually hops the counter and kisses him, hauling him close by his apron pockets.
“Hey. Hey.” Erica shoves Derek’s shoulder. “Yo. Your virtuoso just bent my favorite infuser. With his foot.”
"You can have all the tips in the jar if you close up for me,” Derek says, and starts firmly guiding Stiles toward the back room.
Y’ALL THIS IS A TV GUIDE ARTICLE WITH GIFS AND SHIT ABOUT HOW FUCKING PERFECT HOECH’S BEARD IS…IS THIS WHAT THE VIKINGS FELT LIKE WHEN COLUMBUS WAS LIKE ‘I FOUND THIS CONTINENT’??
shealwaysreads 