things i heard at bars tonight that should definitely be turned into aus:
“we have to empty this machine by tomorrow. i guess we’ll just have to drink it ourselves.” —– a bartender, about a full frozen (margarita?) drink machine
“i can open your thighs, take you wonder by blunder” —- arguably drunk piano singer serenading a varyingly more sober? girl scout troop leader (who was out for her birthday) with bastardized disney songs
me, dodging a crowd: “i love your bowtie!” gay guy, grabbing my hand: “i love you”
“i’m chained to my oppressors. emily, take me away from here.”
confidently: “i’ve got bitches to the left i’ve got bitches to the right i’ve got bitches all around”
“i get enough attention as is i just NEED to be let out of my CHAINS”
“will you shove your foot up my ass? it’s the only thing that makes me come anymore”
shealwaysreads 