thefeministdefinition:

I’m a thirteen year old girl from Pakistan and this is my story. 

I live in a typical South-Asian country where being a woman isn’t exactly one of the most liberating or enjoyable things, but I grew up in a family where people never held me down because of my gender. But my world didn’t end there. There were relatives and strangers who would give me looks when I wore jeans. Some even told me not to. Already, I’ve experienced men looking at me and making faces at me and I’m not even that old yet. But I want to tell you about how I recognised the feminist in me. Every human being has a feminist in them, they just have to recognise her/him.

When I was younger, I used to count the number of women outside, driving cars, walking home, etc. and the number of men was always more than women. I used to wonder why. I used to wonder why mothers and sisters were always the ones told to make tea and prepare food while the men and boys could go outside to play cricket. I used to wonder why girls needed permission to go out of the house but boys didn’t. I used to wonder if we were made so that we could be chained and imprisoned. And sadly, I used to wonder if we had somehow done something to cause it. That somehow it was our fault. 

I first heard the word ‘feminism’ in September 2014, when Emma Watson, my role model, gave a speech at the HeForShe launch at the UN. I was twelve. At that time, I didn’t understand what it meant or how much it could change my life forever. All I knew was that the Harry Potter fandom went crazy and I took that to be something huge. But when I actually listened to her speech, the blow hit me. I realised that things were NOT okay and that what I’d been noticing was part of something big, something that needed to change. That things didn’t end in my house and that what I had always been part of was huger and more worthwhile than anything I could ever do. I began to search for feminists around me. The first person I found was my father. I was surprised by how much he supported successful women despite having spent his entire life in Pakistan. But my surprises didn’t end there. I read stories of abuse and assault on the Internet. I read about how some women were treated like animals BECAUSE they were women. As though their gender was a justification for what was done to them. I read about girls my age and younger than me who were married off and denied education, because they were girls. And I read about boys too. I read how they were told from day one that ‘men don’t cry’ and show their emotions. I read about how they were given a distorted view about what masculinity is. Men were supposed to be strong, controlling and emotionless. Women were supposed to be the exact opposite and therefore weaker than men. It didn’t have anything to do with how God made them but it had everything to do with what they were taught from day one. 

Two days ago, I saw on the news that a father murdered his 12 year old daughter because the shape of the bread she made wasn’t perfectly round. I didn’t let it show but it broke my heart. When things happen the way they do for too long, people assume that they are right. That they have to be done. Women have been treated as inferior for too long, so not a lot of people think it is wrong. Men have been told to be emotionless for too long so it has become a norm. We have evolved, but our mindsets have not evolved very much. I have found myself in feminist arguments with sexist audiences a lot of times in the past year and if there’s one thing that I’ve noticed, it is that people listen. If you try hard enough and you have good points, there WILL be people who will listen. And there will be people who will not. No matter how hard you try. But I want all those people who have experienced this to know that they’re not alone. I’m one of them. And so are a lot of other young and old feminists. This is a fight that we shouldn’t have to fight. We should NOT have to prove our worth and humanity every step along the way just because we are women. We should not be looked down upon and treated as inferiors just because of our gender. And if we are, we should take it as our responsibility to fight against it. It doesn’t even matter if it’s happening to someone else. If we can help, then it’s a crime not to. At least, that’s what I believe. I want everybody who reads my story to know that I am a feminist and I will not back down unless all the women and men all over the world receive justice and equality. And I want people like me to know that I am fighting your fight and you are fighting mine. We are in this together and you are not alone. 

If you’re feeling doubtful, always ask yourself ‘If not me, who? If not now, when?’ There are women all over the world who need our help and need us to fight for their rights. Don’t be one of those people who sees something wrong is happening and doesn’t do anything about it. Be one of those people who notices things and brings about change where they can, because I believe that these people are the real heroes. Just because your life and surroundings seem OK, doesn’t mean that the rest of the world is. Your comfort zone is a tiny place; the rest of the world is way out of it. Step outside and you’ll be surprised. Sometimes surprises and realisations are one of the best things that can happen to you. You just have to let them reach you. You have to embrace who you really are and reflect. Is this the world that I really want to live in? Is this the world that I want for others? If your answers are no, the rest should be easy. We need more feminists and we need more people to take notice. We need change. And we need it NOW. Be brave enough to be a part of it. 

Ayesha Shoaib –  @ayesha7shoaib