Gomez gives out better relationship advice than like 90% of dudes.
Gomez Addams is a suave motherfucker who loves his wife more than his own life.
Everyone should want a Gomez. He’s p cool.
Gomez and Morticia Addams actually have a very loving and extremely healthy relationship, both in the old TV show and in the more recent movies. They were also one of the first television couples to be shown to have an active (albeit offscreen) sex life. Their frank attitude towards sexuality was shocking in its’ time, but their relationship and their family dynamic is actually more functional and more…dare I say it…sane than most families portrayed on TV.
The comedy in the show came from the family’s “odd” lifestyle, rather than from infighting and petty bickering, or worse, as was common on other shows of the time, thinly veiled references to spousal abuse. They didn’t make fun of each other or act like their children were creatures from another world. Were they strange and outside of social norms? Yes. Were they united in creating a loving home and being good, supportive parents? Absolutely.
These two support and adore their children, care for an aging mother and an estranged brother, put family before everything, and they love each other, wholly, fiercely, without reserve. They are every bit as much in love after at least a decade of marriage as they were the day they met.
Relationship goals. LIFE goals.
Just remembered in the second movie when their third child became “normal” for a period and although they were shocked and didn’t know how to handle it, they didn’t mistreat the child or love it any less. They accepted the difference, even though it was hard for them.
Reblogged for truth.
❤️❤️❤️
Posts about Gomez and Morticia Addams are almost always uplifting and I’m happy to have them on my dash, but I think my favorite bit about this conversation is what Gomez is actually saying to Fester.
It’s nobody’s surprise that many of the aesthetic and thematic elements of The Addams Family in its various incarnations are influenced by Gothic tradition (not goth, that mostly came later. And not Goth, that was much much much too early), and I think Gomez’s words are a dead bullseye in terms of Gothic mentality.
“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”
The sublime is a recurring theme throughout Gothic literature. Although the word (like “awesome”) has lost a lot of it’s original luster over the intervening decades, sublime doesn’t really mean elevated and lofty (or even heavenly) as it’s often used today, but rather something possessing the power and grandeur to induce awe and veneration in the mind of the beholder. Although less than divine, something sublime possessed a wildness and power that transcended human ability to control…or even to comprehend.
Sublime is standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon leaning as far as you dare over the railing and still not being able to see the canyon floor below. Sublime is warrior-queen Galadriel being tempted by the One Ring. Sublime is waking up in the middle of the night in the heart of a wild thunderstorm.
“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”
Gomez isn’t advising Fester to treat a woman he fancies like a princess, or even elevate her to pedestal of angelic nature (who’s idea was it to equate femininity with purity anyway? What a laughable and historically damaging idea. Shame on whatever dead (probably) white dudes promoted that!)
Gomez is advising Fester that if he truly loves a woman he must do everything he can to remind her of how she’s an untameable force of nature who’s grandeur brings him to his knees in awe and terror. Just like Morticia, for Gomez.
I’ll sign off with one of my most favorite quotes of all time, because it feels suddenly very relevant:
“When I find myself surrounded by so much beauty, I feel as if I am the eye of a hurricane.”
– -Sanjay Kulkarni
This is what I know. Don’t settle for 40, 50, or even 80 percent. A relationship – it shouldn’t be too small or too tight or even a little scratchy. It shouldn’t take up space in your closet out of guilty conscience or convenience or a moment of desire. Do you hear me? It should be perfect for you. It should be lasting. Wait. wait for 100 percent.
your relationship doesn’t have to be toxic to be a bad one. it can be unfulfilling, exhausting, loveless. and someone doesn’t have to be terrible to you for you to leave them. if you aren’t primarily happy in your relationship, you have a valid reason to not be in it. don’t beat yourself up because your situation “could be worse.” if it isn’t what you want, you don’t have to stay in it.
biggest hetero lie i’ve been told: fighting is a part of a healthy romantic relationship
Disagreements are a part of every healthy relationship. Having bad days when you’re not your best self is a part of every healthy relationship. Fighting, disrespect, and insults? Those are not healthy at all.
NO OKAY THIS IS SO FUCKING TRUE. THIS BOILS MY GODDAMN BLOOD.
STORY TIME.
When I was 16 I had recently moved, and was attending a new school. About half-way through the school year, I started dating a guy I was friends with. He and I got on REALLY well. Like yeah we had disagreements and shit, but we always, ALWAYS talked about it and discussed our feelings and why things were making us upset. Every. Single. Time. We had a good system. And when we had disagreements we resolved them immediately. Otherwise we got along SO WELL. It was great I was really freaking happy and he was too!
About six months into my relationship, people, mostly my family members, commented about how WELL we got along…a l m o s t like it was a bad thing. I didn’t really think about it though, too involved in my own brain.
Skip ahead, to about a year-ish in. Friends of mine would sometimes get into fights with their significant others and they’d tell me ALL about it and I’m a good friend so I’d listen and try to give advice. Except I never had anything when they’d ask me, “Oh well what do you do when you and J get into fights??”
And I never had an answer other than “Well we don’t fight.”
And they never believed me. Or worse they’d insist that was UNHEALTHY. “Fighting is healthy, it lets out tension building up! You just need to sometimes!”
I never, EVER EVER felt comfortable with that, and I’d shrug it off and insist we didn’t NEED to fight. Our relationship was ALREADY healthy, especially because of the way we handled disagreements. People never listened and insisted there was something wrong, whether out-right stating it or hinting at it.
Even my best friend insisted that fighting was healthy, and I listened to her on nearly everything. Except for that. I didn’t budge for anyone.
DO NOT LET PEOPLE FOOL YOU. FIGHTING IS NOT HEALTHY. DISAGREEMENTS ARE. BAD DAYS ARE OKAY. LEGITIMATE SCREAMING AND GOD FORBID PHYSICAL VIOLENCE IS. NOT. OKAY!!!
Don’t be fooled guys, please.
Talking to one another through disagreements is the ONLY healthy way to handle disagreements in a relationship.
Verbal, physical and psychological violence is NEVER healthy.
my father told me once to never date anyone who talks smoothly around you from the start because if someone likes you they should be a little nervous and honestly i think that’s some of the best advice anyone has ever given me
i told my dad about this text post and he got so excited he teared up and then he said he felt like he just adopted forty thousand new children to share his wisdom with and he hopes all of you meet kind, sweet people he would be proud of
The wrong kind of guy to fall in love with is the guy who will let go of the steering wheel as a joke. A guy who finds it amusing to make you uncomfortable—which is more common than you’d think—is someone you want to avoid.
pro tip: before getting serious w a man, just casually mention ur period. like, just say ‘my cramps are bad rn’ or ‘I have to go buy some pads’. his reaction is very telling of how mature and understanding he is. you don’t wanna be dating a grown ass man who gets grossed out by the word menstruation. u deserve someone who is comfortable w u and I do mean all of u. you’ll be thanking urself for doing it now and not later hun!
A man can hate your guts, want you to literally die, and they will still want to have sex with you. Women who date men need to get this, please: sexual attention from men means nothing! There are ways to tell if they actually like you, but this is not one of them!
shealwaysreads 