pale-silver-comb:

Derek tries SO HARD not to hold to the stereotypes but the only Slytherin he’s ever known is his uncle who’s like 100% evil sorry and STILES IS A PARSELMOUTH and that creeps Derek the HELL OUT because 1. He hates snakes, what? He’s a badger, he can’t help it, 2. Have you HEARD Parselmouth? It’s like Satan talking through a shower head! 3. Stiles is so happy about it?? He likes to WEAR snakes sometimes, he’ll walk into the great hall cooing at a ball python and Derek leaves because HE CAN’T Stiles being royally upset with being in Slytherin- not because of the stereotypes, he LIKES Slytherin ok?- but because his best buddy Scott is a Gryff and everyone is all ~judgey~ about it and worse they don’t have many classes together because the professors decided this year to spare everyone the blood war and assign most classes as Gryffindor-Ravenclaw and Slytherin-Hufflepuff, but it’s ok, he hears Slythers and Puffs make great freinds too, so he decides to make a Puff freind because why not? 

Stiles meeting Derek in potions class and helping him because potions is Stiles’ BEST class and Derek’s WORST (well.. his second worst, his worst is DATDA) and later Derek helps Stiles in herbology BECAUSE PLANTS HATE STILES but they love Derek, and mission accomplished! Stiles getting Derek into all kinds of trouble- not bad trouble though, like sneaking into the kitchen at midnight kind of trouble and flying past Gryffindor Tower to wave at Scott kind of trouble so it’s ok mostly. 

Stiles finding out how much snakes bother Derek so he stops sporting them (he doesn’t really like them that much honestly, he just did it because he thought it was funny to creep people out but Derek seems pretty sincerely bothered so..) Derek being really good freinds with the house elves in the kitchen and cooking with them after hours and bringing Stiles in as a dish-washer because do you KNOW how long it took for them to let DEREK cook with them? Stiles doesn’t have a snowball’s chance.  

Derek being the oddest Seeker Hogwarts has ever had because he’s SO GOOD but also the complete opposite of the usual body type and Stiles being a really excellent Beater and they always get sad when it’s Hufflepuff vs Slytherin, especially because the outcome usually just depends on if Slytherin has a decent Seeker or not- (Stiles getting irritated because they almost always lose)- helping eachother earn house points and cheering on whoever’s house wins that year. 

Derek having spent a year at Beauxbaton (because I recently learned that they are not, in fact, an all girl’s school like the movie portrays, they’re just MOSTLY girls) so he’s a second year when he goes to Hogwarts and it makes him even more nervous, Derek speaking fluent French and knowing really ridiculous things like how to make napkins dance and how to make himself look dainty and how to bow and crap like that and Stiles thinks it’s both hilarious and adorable and maybe Derek knows a tiny bit of ballet and that’s just REALLY HOT OK? Both of them being in the special class that helps Hagrid with his animals because they got the highest scores in the Care Of Magical Creatures class, Stiles always acing Divination and Derek always acing astronomy (the other always almost flunks). Both of them being able to produce Patronus at an early age because Derek comes from one of the most prominant bloodlines in the UK (even if he IS only a half-blood because Talia married a human) and Stiles is a muggleborn but the brightest wizard of his age and so it’s easy for him, magic comes really naturally (they later discover that Claudia was half-witch so he isn’t ENTIRELY muggleborn but still impressive!) 

Derek being terrible at DATDA because he’s too sensitive to handle it emotionally and so Stiles is constantly helping him out and Stiles being a disorganized WRECK so Derek always helping him get organized, Derek’s cat and Stiles’ ferret being very VERY weird freinds like neither of them understand it but ok? Stiles being in detention all the time for various reasons but one of the biggest is defending Derek because people are cruel and Derek is a gentle little lamb of a soul who won’t fight back for himself and so Stiles does the honors- his proudest moment was in third year when he turned a sixth year bully into a cricket and put him in with the crickets that are fed to the snakes, he WAS SO CLOSE TO GETTING AWAY WITH IT, but Derek? Derek is a golden child, he never gets in trouble so everyone is really baffled when suddenly an entire group of Gryffindors comes down with the strangest illnesses and they find Derek’s wand imprint over the Gryffindors’ things and this is honestly the WORST thing that a student has ever done in like six years?? (Well… except for the cricket incident) Why?? Well because they called Stiles the “m” word and Derek wasn’t going to stand for that at all, the professors come SO CLOSE to letting him go and then Stiles sets off fireworks in the great hall JUST so he can be in detention with Derek to help him get through it because he knows Derek gets really anxious about getting in trouble and he doesn’t want him to panic or anything and also the detentions can be kind of harsh you know? 

Both of them being able to see Thestrals- Stiles because of his mom, Derek because of his grandparents- and they’re the only ones in their class who can so they just talk about them together like Luna and Harry did, shopping at Hogsmeade with eachother and buying eachother Christmas gifts and in fifth year the sheriff is called away on emergency and so Stiles spends Christmas with the Hales and from then on the Hales follow him home every Christmas and John is just resigned because.. well it happens with the McCalls every year sure why not? 

Derek being the only Hale not to make Head Boy in 7th year but it was only because he turned the position down because he doesn’t like being a leader and he wants to concentrate on his NEWTs NOT killing him thank you. When they graduate Stiles goes into professional quidditch for a few years and Derek goes into magical medicine and follows the Irish team (Stiles for the home team woohoo!) during Stiles’ term as one of their doctors, then when Stiles decides he can’t handle it anymore he opens a small apothecary shop in his hometown with Derek, they’re already engaged by then. Derek and Stiles having LOTS OF BABIES and crying EVERY. SINGLE. SCHOOL YEAR.It does not fail, they always cry, they keep debating applying for teaching positions at Hogwarts and their kids are like NO DADS, and McGonnogal- who, bless her heart, is still trucking- informs Stiles very thoroughly that she has worked long and hard to keep the Weasleys out of positions at this school and after what he pulled at 7th year graduation she will make sure that the same goes to him, Derek WOULD be welcome except that he would just drag Stiles onto the property with him and

and she’s JUST TOO OLD FOR THAT OK? 

Stiles and Derek throwing a party for every single child after finding out what house they’re in, no matter what house it is, ofcourse they’re secretly proudest at the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins but even Ravens and Gryffs get huge congratulations because EVERY HOUSE IS SPECIAL, I just love Puff!Derek and Slyth!Stiles ok? This went off topic 

WHAT IS THIS PERFECT THING????????????

I can’t even find it in my heart to put half of it under the cut BECAUSE I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND MUST SEE IT ALL AT ALL TIMES. I love you for this, nonnie. It is without a doubt my favourite Harry Potter/Sterek crossover I have ever been given the pleasure of reading. 

MAY THIS MAGIC ALL BE WITH YOU, YOU BEAUTIFUL CREATURE.

(Pssssst, is Hogsmeade their first date? DO THEY EAT CANDY AND HOLD HANDS AND MAYBE HAVE THEIR FIRST KISS??? THESE ARE THINGS I ALSO NEED TO KNOW.)