If you think sex workers “sell their bodies,” but coal miners do not, your view of labor is clouded by your moralistic view of sexuality.
Tag: this is important
i wish issues with daily hygiene due to mental illness were talked about more. i feel like it’s the elephant in the room when it comes to symptoms of debilitating disorders.
so i’m proud of everyone who brushed their teeth, washed their face, showered, and/or put on fresh underwear today. and it’s ok if you haven’t done all or any of those (i know i’ve only done the first two); i’m still so proud of you for managing and surviving another day. keep going you’re doin good.
Reading about abusive men and the way they think. Very unsettling and an incredible book so far. Here are my very professional notes.
what book is this?
This is from “Why Does He DO That” by Lundy Bancroft.
I’m so glad I’m seeing more and more Lundy Bancroft quotes on my dash because this book CHANGES THE LIVES OF ABUSE VICTIMS.
The programs run for rehabilitating abusive men through the courts? Bancroft DESIGNED THEM. His programs are replicated ALL OVER THE WORLD.
He literally wrote THE book on abuser rehabilitation.Here’s a link to a pdf copy. If you haven’t read this book yet, read this book.
Can we talk about how it seems like the entirety of the book is online on PDF, this making it accessible to anyone with an internet connection?
That is how we stop abuse.
We enable everyone to know what it looks like, so that when it happens, they can shut it down.
Arm yrself with knowledge!
Changed my life, would reccomend.
Reblogging for the PDF link.
—BB
Always reblogging because this isn’t just a partner abuse thing, this is a common abuse tactic PERIOD: Parents, siblings, bosses, general assholes, etc…
http://www.pdf-archive.com/2014/07/20/why-does-he-do-that/why-does-he-do-that.pdf
new link (the old one is broken)
Pretty sure I’ve reblogged this like eight times, don’t care.
I want to use this post to clear something up. When I talk about toxic masculinity it always causes a big backlash, and I’ve noticed it’s mainly because men don’t know what it means. When I say I hate toxic masculinity, I do not mean that I hate that you’re a man or that I hate masculinity.
Toxic masculinity is THIS. Toxic masculinity is when men reinforce the idea that men should suppress and ignore softer displays of emotions that are associated with women. Toxic masculinity is reinforcing the fear of physical affection between men because it makes them appear too feminine or even ‘homosexual’.
It has to stop. Let men cry. Let men hold each other. Stop perceiving things that are ‘feminine’ as weak because outing your emotions is not weakness, it’s strength.
Pretty sure if my dad spent time like this with my brother he’d be 100 percent better over all.
There’s mad pics of my dad lounging like this with me and my siblings.
Children need physical affection like this. And in a society that raises boys to be standoffish about *any* non sexual contact, much less homosocial contact (case and point: my autocorrect switches homosocial into “homosexual”).
Kill your toxic masculinity, love your fucking kids
This went up quickly
(at 24th and Bryant)
Concept: Maybe “neurotypicals” who consistently reblog post about autism and other mental disorders and illnesses because they relate to them actually aren’t neurotypical, and just don’t know it.
Even the ones who say, “But everyone does this!” might only be saying it because they do it, and therefore think everyone does, when that’s not the reality.
Like, I remember someone who very obviously had OCD saying, “Everyone gets constant, upsetting intrusive thoughts, and does things to make them go away! It’s normal!” and everyone who responded to them were like, “Uh… No, it’s really not. You have a mental illness.”
I hate how everyone is so quick to assume anyone who relates to their posts without having every aspect of their mental state listed on their blog is obviously an evil, appropriating neurotypical. Maybe they are technically neurotypical, but have one or two traits associated with whatever form of neurodivergence. Maybe they’re neurodivergent and just don’t feel like listing it. Maybe they think they’re neurotypical, and are in the process of realising that they actually aren’t.
Please don’t be so quick to judge. This gatekeeping helps no one.
This is an extremely important point.
I know at least one trans person who didn’t realize they were trans until they were talking about how much they relate to trans things. Only, it was in the context of being dismissive of trans people. “Oh, sure, of course you prefer those pronouns. Everyone does.” But that wasn’t a cis person being dismissive of trans experiences; it was a trans person not understanding that they were trans.
Same thing with a lot of mental illness stuff.
Honestly, if you relate to an experience, you have the experience. Doesn’t matter whether you have it for the same reason someone else does.
On a similar note that I was thinking about recently: perhaps some neurodivergent people who are dismissed by their parents have neurodivergent parents who don’t know it. Like, if your mom says “everyone has that” when you tell her about your depression, there’s a decent chance that she’s not minimizing you, she just has depression herself and doesn’t realize it.
Bless you all
Also important to note that not everyone lists these things on their blog.
Ive had someone angrily come at me in messages because I was reblogging BPD posts when I “didn’t have BPD” but when I explained that I do, in fact, have Borderline Personality Disorder, they were apologetic but that doesn’t take back the distress their ask caused. Same thing with gender issues.
Please don’t assume that everyone on tumblr is willing to list their mental illnesses on their sidebar like a badge.
Make plans to get a passport. The process takes time and costs a lot of money. Start saving now. If you’re a minor and feel safe discussing this with your parents/guardians, talk with them now. Passports are essential for leaving the country in times of distress. Right now, the future is unclear and it is terrifying. We know it’s about to get unsafe for basically every minority and marginalized group, we just don’t know how unsafe. Prepare for the worst case scenario.
If you have a passport, make sure it’s up to date.
I want to apologize to all the women I have called beautiful before I’ve called them intelligent or brave. I am sorry I made it sound as though something as simple as what you’re born with is all you have to be proud of when you have broken mountains with your wit. From now on I will say things like you are resilient, or you are extraordinary not because I don’t think you’re beautiful, but because I need you to know you are more than that.
Rupi Kaur (via wordsnquotes)
Beautiful things grow out of shit. Nobody ever believes that. Everyone thinks that Beethoven had his string quartets completely in his head—they somehow appeared there and formed in his head—and all he had to do was write them down and they would be manifest to the world. But what I think is so interesting, and would really be a lesson that everybody should learn, is that things come out of nothing. Things evolve out of nothing. You know, the tiniest seed in the right situation turns into the most beautiful forest. And then the most promising seed in the wrong situation turns into nothing. I think this would be important for people to understand, because it gives people confidence in their own lives to know that’s how things work.
If you walk around with the idea that there are some people who are so gifted—they have these wonderful things in their head but and you’re not one of them, you’re just sort of a normal person, you could never do anything like that—then you live a different kind of life. You could have another kind of life where you could say, well, I know that things come from nothing very much, start from unpromising beginnings, and I’m an unpromising beginning, and I could start something.
shealwaysreads 